Even the Japanese Language is Sexist

Ok maybe not the language itself but kind of because Japanese have words only women can use and words only men should use. Gender roles anyone? No wonder they're ranked so low in gender equality. Are you a strong independent woman? Sorry, in Japan, you must be a guy. They don't believe a woman can be strong and independent. It's that ridiculous here. Even worse, you have Japanese girls themselves reinforcing this, telling each other you can't have a BBQ without a man. It's pretty nuts.

True, Japan is safe but not if you're a girl. You'll be stalked, harassed, groped, etc. Sometimes, much much worse. In the news recently, some very beautiful successful Japanese actresses committed suicide. It's really a shame.

Noise Pollution in Tokyo

So here's a nice little contradiction: be polite and always think of others first but vehicles blasting ads from megaphones is totally ok. Someone please explain that. Even in my little residential area far from any metro station, you have tiny trucks blaring announcements driving down our narrow roads (note: the above photo is in Shinjuku, not my place... not sure why I'm explaining that but yeah). Why do they allow this? I just don't understand. It only bothers everyone. Sure, they don't do it real late at night or super early but still. It's extremely annoying and it destroys the tranquility. I don't know about you but I hate ads. They're unavoidable but do we really need vehicles screaming them at us?

Ok it's really not that big of a problem. It's not like it happens every five seconds but it's just a bit odd. Noise pollution here seems perfectly acceptable. I can understand if you're a politician with a mic in front of a metro station but isn't it convenient how they only come out when it's election time?

Then there's the issue of noisy neighbors or neighbors who are way too sensitive to any possible noise (good luck raising kids here). Japan really needs some serious intermediary to deal with this since the police don't seem to do anything until it's too late. I'm lucky though because my apartment complex is pretty quiet and relaxed although some people below me occasionally love to make a ton of loud noise at 2am. Does anyone do anything about it? Apparently, some tenants did complain but the management did nothing besides sending letters to everybody. Great job. So in conclusion, noisy neighbors are a big no no but trucks yelling ads are ok? Alright, that makes sense.

Japanese Love Big Stones

I heard a Japanese tour guide actually say this. My wife and I both laughed. There were large stones nearby at the Osaka Castle but the oversimplified generalization is what makes it hilarious. Many people try to do this with the Japanese especially foreigners but Japanese also do it too. I guess this is a trait of humanity: we make generalizations trying to grasp some kind of bigger understanding. Chasing norms and ignoring outliers but I think Japanese are particularly mysterious. Foreigners are attracted by that. If you want to interest an audience in a story, add some mystery. Kinda makes sense Japan would be that way since they're an island and they were closed off from the rest of the world for a long time. Even if you live in Japan, it's still a fairly closed society. You can enter some parts but others will blatantly tell you, "No foreigners." Then of course, they will turn right around and claim they're not racist. It is their country though but many foreigners have lived there for decades, they pay their taxes, they contribute to the economy, they have mixed children, they speak Japanese, etc. Basically, they do all the things Japanese do yet even they are still not Japanese. Really to get in, you need some locals on your side. Japanese are far more willing to tolerate a foreigner if another Japanese vouches for them. This doesn't really bother me after all because it is Japan, and obviously, I am not Japanese, but it doesn't inspire me to learn the language or try to blend in. Such things seem pointless here and many foreign Japanese speakers will even tell you that. There are plenty of stories of foreigners speaking good Japanese yet they still get ignored because they look foreign. Plus, if you understand Japanese, the problems and stress of Japan affect you even more. But I really like living in Japan. It's very peaceful, the food is amazing, it is clean, and there are so many places to explore (onsens are awesome too). Sure, you stand out like big bird but you get used to it.

Official Godzilla Store in Shinjuku

Ok, I admit it. I love this place. I grew up watching Godzilla movies with my brother. Sure, a lot of them are cheesy (Godzilla's Revenge... ugh, kill me... and please don't mention the android running in 1991's Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah) but the original is a classic, and I love Shin Godzilla as well. At its best, Godzilla is a brilliant dark metaphor for the awful destructive power of atomic energy (even children die of radiation in the original... talk about dark but realistic). There is a reason Criterion gave the Showa Era films the deluxe treatment. Cockroach spacemen, monkey spacemen, singing magical mini twins, whatever, I'm all in. Godzilla movies rule especially the earlier ones (but I would not recommend the English dubbing... horrendous). I'm a huge fan so visiting the Official Godzilla Store in Shinjuku is a blast, and I always like to see what's new. Whatever kind of Godzilla memorabilia you want, they got it: honey pies, curry, chopsticks, socks, magnets, stickers, pens, toys, file folders, heck even Godzilla toilet paper (I kid you not). It's heaven to a kaiju fan (hell to your wallet though). Closed during the pandemic, it has now reopened (photos are pre-virus nightmare). Every once in a while, you get new exclusive Bandai figures that debut there so I love to randomly visit, hoping they'll have something (yes, my life is that sad). If you're a Godzilla fan, Tokyo is where it's at. Tons of stores here with Godzilla goods (Mandarake in Nakano, Shibuya, Akihabara, etc. and the Monster Lab in Akihabara with all kinds of super rare Godzilla but some sadly not for sale).

Japanese are magical beings that suddenly appeared on these islands. Ainu? Huh? Eye new? I knew? Yeah yeah me too. I knew too. Godzilla.

So you're mixed Japanese? Sorry not Japanese enough. Gotta be pure Japanese. You know 100% Organic Vegan Non-GMO. What's that? Descendants of Jomon and Yayoi? They're all really mixed? No, no, no, some are pure. Trust me. How can you tell? Well, they speak perfect Japanese of course, and they look "Japanese." Overseas Japanese? Come on now, that doesn't count. Not pure enough. Gotta have samurai swords in the blood and kimonos in the hair. If you shake them up, all you see are little red and white flags floating inside. That's pure Japanese. Like pure Americans. Nothing but guns, beer, and cars. Maybe an eagle or two. Or a hot dog. Pizza? Nope, sorry, that's a Italian. Ok, donuts. Go America. Did I have a point? Oh yeah, so Maria Osawa. Yeah, I'll take any excuse to talk about her. I mean, ahem, serious here. So serious. She's not Japanese. She's mixed. I even saw a Japanese guy discriminate against a Japanese girl since her English was so good. No way she could be Japanese. Not pure Japanese. Must be mixed or something. (No, she was Japanese.) Gotta love it. Discriminate against your own. The guy refused to shake her hand. Of course, Japanese usually don't shake hands but still. Ever heard of being polite? She must not be Japanese, speaking English and trying to shake hands. Now, I gotta eat more sushi and kimonos so I can be pure Japanese. And sake. Don't forget the sake.

Japanese Love Foreigners

Ever try renting an apartment in Japan? Good luck. There are 195 countries in the world today, but if you're not Japanese, you're all lumped together. Surely, there's no difference between Canada and Nigeria. Us vs. them. The polite word would be ethnocentric. The other word starts with an "r." For some reason, there's this idea when you're outside Japan that everyone here is oh so polite. Not really true. Sure, their poor service workers are forced to act super kind and their society is full of rules for how you're supposed to act (welcome to prison) but there's an overwhelming dark side too. I do think Japanese are pretty polite but of course, they're not perfect and like any other country, they can be downright rude, not just to foreigners but to each other as well. It's a shame. I'm meandering from my main point. It's not that Japanese look down on foreigners but well, they look down on foreigners. That's Japan in a nutshell. Polite but not polite. Racist but not racist. They follow the rules but they don't. Confused yet? Contemplate this: prostitution is illegal in Japan, and yet it's everywhere. Gambling is illegal in Japan. What about those pachinko parlors everywhere? Uhm, yeah, isn't that gambling? No, no, no. They change the metallic balls into money in another building so it's not gambling. What? Yeah. You gotta love Japan. They're not racist. But my wife can't believe she married a foreigner. And that TV ad showing a foreigner as a gorilla? Uh, yeah, don't read too much into that. Welcome to Japan. Now give us your money and leave. Too harsh? Absolutely, it's not that bad, but when they talk about foreigners like they're alien invaders trying to take over, you got to stop to think for a second. I can't believe I married a gorilla.

Japan is so freakin high tech they got like robots serving you at banks and shit.

Maybe but not really. Consider, for example, they still use cash a ton. Like in 2020, they're just now pushing people to try to use cards more. Uhm... yeah. So China is way ahead of them there. And just so you know, their Wi-Fi sucks. Like it sucks ass. Everywhere you go here and I'm talking Tokyo, not the sticks, they have FREE Wi-Fi signs but then you try to connect and you can't. It's annoying as hell. Pro Tip: 7-11 always has great free Wi-Fi. Starbucks in Japan has shit Wi-Fi especially in Shinjuku. FamilyMart has pretty good Wi-Fi but you have to register with your email first (a lot of places make you do this in Japan... you don't have to do it in China and the Wi-Fi is a million times better in China). Japan's FREE Wi-Fi app sucks and doesn't work (even my wife discovered this). Ok, rant over. So sure, they have robots at banks to greet you and amazing space-age toilets ("space-age" doesn't make any sense right? since that was like the 1960s so a bit dated now but everyone describes the damn toilets this way). Really, they're amazing washlets and I can't believe us savages in the US don't have them (neither do the Chinese but hey they're still developing... I spent some time in China in case you're wondering why I compare the two). But sadly, you learn after being in Japan for a while, they're not really that high tech. No androids here. No amazing sex dolls (yet... come on Japan! I'm rooting for you). No giant mechanical kaiju you can playfully wrestle with before it maniacally crushes your bones (sorry, I'm a loser). Their shinkansen do kick ass though and they have tons of auto-open doors so never mind. I take it all back. Japan rules.