Japanese are magical beings that suddenly appeared on these islands. Ainu? Huh? Eye new? I knew? Yeah yeah me too. I knew too. Godzilla.

So you're mixed Japanese? Sorry not Japanese enough. Gotta be pure Japanese. You know 100% Organic Vegan Non-GMO. What's that? Descendants of Jomon and Yayoi? They're all really mixed? No, no, no, some are pure. Trust me. How can you tell? Well, they speak perfect Japanese of course, and they look "Japanese." Overseas Japanese? Come on now, that doesn't count. Not pure enough. Gotta have samurai swords in the blood and kimonos in the hair. If you shake them up, all you see are little red and white flags floating inside. That's pure Japanese. Like pure Americans. Nothing but guns, beer, and cars. Maybe an eagle or two. Or a hot dog. Pizza? Nope, sorry, that's a Italian. Ok, donuts. Go America. Did I have a point? Oh yeah, so Maria Osawa. Yeah, I'll take any excuse to talk about her. I mean, ahem, serious here. So serious. She's not Japanese. She's mixed. I even saw a Japanese guy discriminate against a Japanese girl since her English was so good. No way she could be Japanese. Not pure Japanese. Must be mixed or something. (No, she was Japanese.) Gotta love it. Discriminate against your own. The guy refused to shake her hand. Of course, Japanese usually don't shake hands but still. Ever heard of being polite? She must not be Japanese, speaking English and trying to shake hands. Now, I gotta eat more sushi and kimonos so I can be pure Japanese. And sake. Don't forget the sake.

Japanese Girls Are Awesome

Hypocrite! Yes. Call this a counter to my post yesterday or more accurately, a supplement. Honeytrap might be a good description. Japanese girls are beautiful. Obviously. You already know that. They can look extremely good into their 40s. Heck, a rare few even into their 50s (news: 50-year-old hot cosplay woman). Of course, not all of them, but they're ninjas when it comes to makeup (yes, I said "ninjas" so have at me). They can also be very sweet and kind especially from a distance. The closer you get, the more your risk increases. Kinda like an alligator if they weren't so damn ugly. I'm kidding. But not really. But kind of. But not really. But sort of. But not really. Japanese girls are awesome. My wife can be utterly amazing. The nicest, most caring lady. Then she can turn right around and tell me she wants to get pregnant by another guy, act like she is texting said guy, and then leave our house as if she is going to said guy. Brutal. But if you want to slay your loved one, that must be top-level assassin skills. Sure, she didn't really go out and cheat that time (notice the point here at the end... welcome to my ongoing nightmare). What the kids call the "dread game." Well, she done mastered that. Then naturally, five minutes later (exaggerating a bit but only a bit), she will be an angel and wonder why her husband locked her out. So yeah, Japanese girls are awesome but there can be a lot of different ways to interpret that and some of them can end with your heart smashed on the floor. A friend of mine told me his Japanese boss warned him to stay away from Japanese girls. Gee I wonder why. I'm a serious guy aka a moron so I wanted to get married. Recently, my wife admitted when she told me she wanted to get married *before* our first date (warning sign number one), those were just play words. Brutal. Like I said. Don't worry, a bit later she said she was just playing when she said those were play words (now you know why suicide is higher here... I kid... but not really... but sort of). So please learn something from this and go back in time to tell stupid naive me. Oh wait, my friends already tried. Shit. I mean... uhm, I'm happily married. So happy. Look at me. Instagramz check me out. Facebooka. *head explodes*